St. Patrick’s Day celebrates the life of St. Reginald Patrick (Reggie for short) who is known for driving the snakes out of Ireland. Twentieth century historians have disputed this claim, however, arguing that instead of driving the snakes, he merely purchased them bus tickets. Modern historians, however, scoff at this claim, noting that only lizards […]
My family just celebrated Independence Day as we do every year, and for the first time in my life, it strikes me what a strange way it is that we celebrate this holiday. First, we go over to my Uncle Harold’s house and stuff ourselves almost to the point of hospitalization. Then at some point […]
One summer day when I was 10 or 11, my dad pulled our family car up our driveway and parked in the carport. While he had been out running errands, some neighbors had stopped by and were visiting with mom. I was playing in the front yard with some other kids and saw my dad […]
Christmas has often been a somewhat painful season for me. I grew up in a big household with five kids so my parents were trying to cut corners any way they could. They would wait until about three days before Christmas to buy our Christmas tree, which was always a Scotch pine, the cheapest Christmas […]
The only economical babysitting options I’ve found are grandparents, newly married couples, and dogs. Let me save you some time and tell you that the dog option isn’t going to work, for two reasons: 1] Dogs don’t have thumbs so when you call home to see how the kids are, they won’t be able to […]
When I was seven years old, my parents entertained some friends who had just gotten back from vacationing in Hawaii. Back in those days, it was much more uncommon for people to travel to far away exotic locations, so my parents’ friends were showing off their pictures and souvenirs while my parents ooh-ed and aah-ed. […]
So you’re thinking about having children but aren’t sure if you’re ready? Just take this little test and you’ll get a good idea whether or not you are. First, attach yourself to some type of device that gives you a severe electrical shock if you are unable to complete a complex algebraic equation in two […]
I don’t know why I always wait until the last minute to buy my wife’s Valentine’s Day present. Most likely, it’s because I’m a guy. The same thing happens every year. About one week before Valentine’s Day, I think that the big day is nowhere on the radar, so I figure I still have pul-lenty […]
I just finished replacing a piece of loose siding on my house and it only took me about a year to do it. How did I accomplish this miracle of efficiency and home-repair savvy? By applying the time-honored suburbanite-male’s system of home maintenance. The following is the simple 10-step process I use to ensure quality […]
Hello! Welcome to middle age. You’re going to love it! Heh, heh. A little orientation humor there. No, the truth is that much of it is going to be uncomfortable and—well, there’s no point in soft-pedaling it—you’re going to be miserable. I’m here to give you a heads-up about some of the things you may […]
