The back-to-school ritual in my household when I grew up always began with a trip to the discount department store, where my mom’s mission was to outfit me in the most embarrassing clothes possible. Between the dressing room and the cash register, I’m sure my pants lost roughly six inches of length. You might be […]
The only economical babysitting options I’ve found are grandparents, newly married couples, and dogs. Let me save you some time and tell you that the dog option isn’t going to work, for two reasons: 1] Dogs don’t have thumbs so when you call home to see how the kids are, they won’t be able to […]
I am a proud former Kmart clothes wearer! Well, not proud. Kind of ashamed really, but after years of therapy I can finally admit it. If you also had to wear them, I want to hear from you in the comments section below. (My therapist said it’s good if we talk about it.)
In celebration of Scrappy, The Wonder Dog’s birthday* this month, I offer a never-before-seen peek at my journal entry for the week of his adoption 13 years ago. October 12 – My wife called me while I was at the store and asked if I knew why there was a small, bedraggled dog hanging around […]
St. Patrick’s Day celebrates the life of St. Reginald Patrick (Reggie for short) who is known for driving the snakes out of Ireland. Twentieth century historians have disputed this claim, however, arguing that instead of driving the snakes, he merely purchased them bus tickets. Modern historians, however, scoff at this claim, noting that only lizards […]
I don’t know why I always wait until the last minute to buy my wife’s Valentine’s Day present. Most likely, it’s because I’m a guy. The same thing happens every year. About one week before Valentine’s Day, I think that the big day is nowhere on the radar, so I figure I still have pul-lenty […]
As we enter the new year, I thought I might offer a few health tips that are guaranteed to get you into tip-top shape within a week to ten years. 1] Eat more grease. I believe that scientists of the future will discover that, since grease is a lubricant, it actually helps your blood slide […]
In this video I talk about what happens at Chick-fil-A when things go wrong. If it even halfway sorta kinda makes you smile, please give me a thumbs up and follow me for more humorous and motivational videos!
Not all of my customer service stories are about great service. This is a video of me telling a story about bad service I’ve gotten, but don’t worry! I disguise the name of the company so you’ll never know who I’m talking about!
Halloween was always a scary time for me when I was growing up. Not because of all the ghosts and goblins and such, but because my mom made all my costumes. Every kid knows that an acceptable Halloween costume must either be scary or cool, and Mom’s costumes fell short on both counts. I was […]