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The Cheapskate’s Guide to Getting a Babysitter

The only economical babysitting options I’ve found are grandparents, newly married couples, and dogs. Let me save you some time and tell you that the dog option isn’t going to work, for two reasons: 1] Dogs don’t have thumbs so when you call home to see how the kids are, they won’t be able to […]

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The Maniac Parenting Method

My non-parent friends ask me what it’s like having kids. I tell them that before you have kids, you are the star in the movie of your life. After you have kids, you’re lucky if you can get a speaking part. You’re an extra on the set of your own movie. When the credits roll […]

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Parenting Prep 101

So you’re thinking about having children but aren’t sure if you’re ready? Just take this little test and you’ll get a good idea whether or not you are. First, attach yourself to some type of device that gives you a severe electrical shock if you are unable to complete a complex algebraic equation in two […]

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A Brief history of St. Patrick of Ireland

St. Patrick’s Day celebrates the life of St. Reginald Patrick (Reggie for short) who is known for driving the snakes out of Ireland. Twentieth century historians have disputed this claim, however, arguing that instead of driving the snakes, he merely purchased them bus tickets. Modern historians, however, scoff at this claim, noting that only lizards […]

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Valentine's Day Guy - Man's Approach to Valentine's Day

A Man’s 5-Step Approach to Valentine’s Day

I don’t know why I always wait until the last minute to buy my wife’s Valentine’s Day present. Most likely, it’s because I’m a guy. The same thing happens every year. About one week before Valentine’s Day, I think that the big day is nowhere on the radar, so I figure I still have pul-lenty […]

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The Suburban Guy’s Home Repair Method

I just finished replacing a piece of loose siding on my house and it only took me about a year to do it. How did I accomplish this miracle of efficiency and home-repair savvy? By applying the time-honored suburbanite-male’s system of home maintenance. The following is the simple 10-step process I use to ensure quality […]

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Middle age orientation program

Hello! Welcome to middle age. You’re going to love it! Heh, heh. A little orientation humor there. No, the truth is that much of it is going to be uncomfortable and—well, there’s no point in soft-pedaling it—you’re going to be miserable. I’m here to give you a heads-up about some of the things you may […]

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