A few years ago, I heard the story of Ronnie who owned his own construction business. Ronnie had accepted a down payment from a client to do some remodeling but had dragged his feet in getting the job completed. The customer had complained several times, but Ronnie always had an excuse as to why the […]
My non-parent friends ask me what it’s like having kids. I tell them that before you have kids, you are the star in the movie of your life. After you have kids, you’re lucky if you can get a speaking part. You’re an extra on the set of your own movie. When the credits roll […]
When I was seven years old, my parents entertained some friends who had just gotten back from vacationing in Hawaii. Back in those days, it was much more uncommon for people to travel to far away exotic locations, so my parents’ friends were showing off their pictures and souvenirs while my parents ooh-ed and aah-ed. […]
Here’s a tell-all video in which clients get to say what they really think about me! Okay, it’s a promotional video, but don’t tell anybody.
I answered the phone just after midnight and heard the panicked voice of my business partner on the other end of the line. “If you want anything from the restaurant, you’d better come get it now,” Frank said. “They’re kicking us out of the building tomorrow morning.” “What?!” I practically yelled into the phone. “We’re […]
So you’re thinking about having children but aren’t sure if you’re ready? Just take this little test and you’ll get a good idea whether or not you are. First, attach yourself to some type of device that gives you a severe electrical shock if you are unable to complete a complex algebraic equation in two […]
Jeff Dunham had a problem. He hit a plateau in his career and was unable to go any further. He had certainly done everything right thus far. Against all odds, he established himself as an in-demand comedian on the comedy club circuit. He built a loyal following of his off-center, politically-incorrect humor by concentrating on […]
Tell me, what do Tom Hiddleston, Emma Thompson, Kelly Clarkson, Tessa Thompson, and James Earl Jones have in common? Sure, they’re all hugely successful celebrities, but what else? What would they have in common with Philippe Petit (the French high-wire artist who became famous for his high-wire walk between the Twin Towers at the World […]
On a warm day in early November, I heard the sound of chainsaws in my neighbor’s yard, so I wandered outside to find that he had hired a company to cut down some trees. One of the tree cutters was cutting limbs halfway up a huge, 60-foot oak tree located just inches from my neighbor‘s […]
In this video I answer all of the burning questions that hardly anyone cares enough about to ask, including my getting a DNA test, whether I’ve ever had a stalker, and what I think about skinny jeans.
